Voices of FORCE

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Laura, Seattle, WA

Quick Info About Me

  Voices of Force

Age: 39

I look forward to journey highlights; for now it's mainly fear and confusion and lots of emotions.

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My journey

The genetic counselor called as I was walking out the door to take my three kids to school. "Not the news you're expecting, I'm afraid," he said. And then, the news, that I tested positive for the BRCA 1 mutation. A tear-filled drive to school that morning, and I've been in an emotionally vulnerable state ever since. I've met with a breast surgeon, plastic surgeon, and gyne oncologist to discuss all of my options. I have decided to move forward with all of the prophylactic surgeries, and even scheduled my mastectomies, and have worked to wrap my head around the first procedure, followed by two subsequent reconstructive procedures. But yesterday I got a call from my gyne onc, saying that she'd like me to come in to discuss accelerating the timeline for my hysterectomy because my CA125 numbers are hovering above the lab's version of normal (21). Mine numbers are at 30, then 36. I'm all kinds of confused and slightly scared, bc those numbers aren't high by most standards, but the two oncologists I consulted with said that removing my ovaries and tubes before my breasts (that are healthy as of now), is a no brainer due to the slightly concerning CA125 numbers. So, now I work to wrap my head around a change in plans...I know all will work out in the end, but moving through the process is a real bitch.

The hardest part of my journey

Feelings of emotional isolation. Feeling scared. Feeling like I'm a ticking time bomb. Feeling like I shouldn't have these feelings and that I should be thankful that I have this information and the opportunity to do something about it. Feeling like I'm living in limbo. And feeling like my feelings are nuts, because I don't even have cancer.

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