Marion Hunter, Newington, Connecticut
I Had A Double Mastectomy in 2007. I Went Thru The Entire Ordeal ALONE. My Now Ex-Husband Did NOTHING To Help Me. On 10/31/07 @5am I Was @Hosp.Via Cab
I'm more than my risk… some fun facts about myself:
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I did what I did because I wanted to live. I had no idea that my marriage was crumbling, but I could not ignore the words my then-husband said to me..he called me a cripple, and said that I had mutilated myself. He had made plans that were supposed to include me (a move to Arizona for his job promotion.) This is still very painful to write about..I found out that he never loved me in 34 years of marriage, he only cared about our daughter (a very disturbed woman)..lots of things..I had enough..I started divorce action. Right now I am still rebuilding my life in my new apartment (since 2008), but the ex & daughter continue to plague me..I have an excellent lawyer (after 2 previous) who is helping me navigate my way through their various machinations. I am a work in progress, but still moving forward..doing the best I can.
The hardest part of my journey
The hardest part outside of my ex-husband's betrayal during the entire process:genetic counseling to post-surgery, has been when I called the American Cancer Society to find support groups for Breast Cancer survivors. I WAS TOLD I WAS NOT A BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE I HAD NOT HAD BREAST CANCER!! There were NO support groups for people like me. My doctor suggested I go to a group anyway, and give the date I was told I had the BRCA2 mutation as my diagnosis date. I didn't want to do that..it felt like lying. I also got a statement from Medicare after I had bought breast prosthesis and bras stating that they wouldn't cover the cost, because according to their records I HADN'T HAD A MASTECTOMY!! (my primary insurance at that time covered everything..Medicare didn't have to pay..after the divorce, I only had Medicare & Medicaid..today I only have Medicare.) I had elected against reconstruction..I didn't want any more surgeries (the MRSA virus was going around then), no more mammograms, no more replacement of implants..I thought my husband would love me for myself..alive...I was wrong. I am still at risk; I have to have a professional breast examination every year (by a doctor). I've felt so alone..whenever I see stuff on tv about breast cancer survivors something in me wants to throw something at the tv in frustration.
If I could do it over again
I would have made sure my surgeon and his partner left me a better torso..the sides have bulges that cannot be corrected..I should have done my homework on this, but at that time I guess I had other concerns..living with an abusive alcoholic -painkiller addict.
My participation with FORCE
I'm trying to join now..I NEED to join..I hope you will accept me. Brenda Coffee spoke about me in one of her blogs.
I'm so grateful that Brenda Coffee told me about FORCE. I want to be a part of it. When she told me I was a "previvor", I almost broke down and cried..finally someone understood.
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